so many thoughts or observations float into my head on a daily basis, I have trouble keeping track of them. today we are going to do a little maintenance, clean out the mental files so to speak...purge the brain

strippers:
strippers like to be called dancers. to me this is the equivalent of calling garbage men treasure hunters. smelly mike is not indiana jones and erotic city is not putting on the nutcracker this holiday season.
every man should sleep with a stripper at some point in his life, preferably before marriage. just understand though that it has to happen naturally, not because you blew your rent on lap dances.
understand that your lady is not happy about you going down to the pole palace. if she agrees to let you go, chances are you made up some excuse i.e "we think steve is going queer on us, he had his camera phone at the gym...we have to intervene" . this is how you handle it: kiss her goodbye, tell her you love her, come home on time, answer any questions with very short responses. there is no need to elaborate. she may be cool but she does not want to hear about you in boxers and a beater on stage getting tag teamed by ebony and ivory while the dj plays dr. feelgood.

confrontation:
rule number one: 90% of the time, the guy that lands the first punch wins the fight. some call it a sucker punch, but who's really the sucker? The guy that threw it or the guy dumb enough to get hit with it?
understand that you may be big, bad and tough, but there is always someone bigger, badder and tougher...ask mike tyson or the men at the alamo
listen to kenny rogers: "know when to hold em, know when to fold em, know when to walk away, know when to run". if need be, there is no shame in running. make sure you are the fastest though...getting chased down then beat up is a tough thing to get off the old social record
"pain is temporary, pride is forever"...so are scars.
I have seen a lot of fights in my life. I have seen very few won with karate. karate does not win street fights, crazy does. how many times in the mid eighties did you see some idiot get his ass handed to him because he tried to do the crane? if you happen to run across someone a little more disciplined in the ancient art of crazy than yourself, refer to kenny rogers.

growing up:
one of the main reasons I was so wild growing up, was to prove to my parents that spanking me was going to hurt them more that it was going to hurt me.
hand-me-downs (n): one more reason to resent your parents for being poor.
you lied to your parents as a kid...good you were supposed to. if you had not you probably would have been a social outcast. you're an adult now though, and unless its absolutely necessary, the only people you lie to are one night stands and cops.

well, I feel a little lighter. ill finish the cleaning tomorrow...maybe with files on religion, racism, politics, relationships, and all that other shit you are supposed to talk about to other people.

something about me: some people think I have an anger management problem. im not violent, well unless its absolutely necessary, ex. I let you cut in front of me in traffic and you don't give the obligatory thank you wave...then its your ass. I think I am more emotional than angry, I personally would rather watch a man take that emotion out on a door or heavy bag then take it out on a box of kleenex and my shoulder. maybe therein lies the problem...

big ups of the day: im not feeling super sentimental today so im just going to post a couple of sites that I enjoy.
www.shakyvoice.com -brad meehan is a good friend and a hilarious, talented writer and stand up comic
www.kcramos.com -kurt ramos, I have yet to see his stand up, but his writing is fucking great

these are both kc boys that could use and deserve your support