i received a call from a friend of mine (name drop...not yet). he told me that he truly enjoyed my blog (on line journal, daily diary,blurb, vagina, etc). he pointed out, though, that i tell jokes. observations, thoughts, delivered rapid fire, with not much feeling behind them. they are meant to entertain. i understand and accept that, its what i do, my acting career began with stand-up comedy, its what i do. i hide feelings behind humor...jokes aren't judged as harshly as honesty, i don't generally open myself up...im un-trusting. the "vagina" is the closest i have come in awhile to opening up to new people... we have to start slow.so here is the solution...
each day, i will give one fact about myself that is different than the public perception. i will also, at the end of each entry, give "big-ups" to someone that is part of my life. the term "big ups" is just a respectful slight to a blog titled www.superficialplazachick.blogspot.com. enjoy... we'll start with three things about myself

public opinion is that i am both confident and arrogant (don't know the difference? buy a dictionary, cheap ass).
i cry almost every day out of insecurity

i am a hard ass, that only cares about himself.
i work with children as often as possible. I've began and run inner-city after school programs, as well as coached 6-8 yr old football teams.

i have no filter or conscience when it comes to what i say or do.
well, that's true. but its something you fuckers did not know.

big ups of the day:

my mother. my best friend. am i a mammas boy... fuck yes i am, and damn proud of it. my mother is my best friend, yet she shouldn't be. i have hurt this woman so many times, and she comes back for more. why? because she loves me back. she believes in me. she sees what i can be... and accepts me for what i am. people use the expression "do you kiss your mother with that mouth", yes i do. and she kisses me back because she sees beyond the attitude and the bravado and loves the little boy that i used to be. i love the woman she is...and the young woman she was that adopted me (big-ups to dad will come tomorrow).she took a chance on an unknown kid, it hasn't always paid off. i hope the good times are starting to out-weigh the bad