contributed by guest writer Doofi
www.ihateyouif.blogspot.com
You are in rush hour traffic and leave about 500 yards between you and the next car. You’re just asking for it, that empty space will fill up with all the people that think they’ll get to work that extra 5 seconds earlier. Speaking of, the people that change lanes constantly in stop and go, what are you doing? Where are you going? You’re making matter worse, should be run off the road and hated by me.
You think good acting has to involve some sort drug addict acting all cracked out. In addition to the crack, throw in something to do with a gun, a good crying scene and there you have every movie ever made that’s considered “good”. Someone really needs to come up with a new genre of movies, because they all suck. Try making me laugh, that’s a real talent and that is the only good acting that doesn’t make me hate you.
You are a girl that has an unhealthy obsession with sports. You know there are other ways to get close to guys instead of trying to be one. Yeah it’s cool when a girl can talk some sports, but when you start talking fantasy trades, that’s a little creepy, I mean most dudes do spend an inordinate amount of time with fictitious teams and leagues and what not, but we’ve all got our vices, I spend hours writing about how much I hate people when I should be doing work, but at least I’m not a woman that knows too much about sports, because then I’d have to hate myself, kind of like the way that I hate you.
You are on the show pimp my ride and say “this is going to change my life”. Yeah having a clown car will certainly change your life. I give that ride a day b4 an actual pimp steals all 7 TV monitors in there, and the sound system and the playstation. Who spends this much time in their car? Wouldn’t you rather watch TV in your house? And how would having some ridiculous car like that really change your life? Unless maybe you turned around and sold it to me at which point I’ll hate you.
You are a girl and complain that you can’t get sex. I don’t care what you look like, I don’t care how annoying you are, there is ALWAYS some guy willing to take you home. Let’s face it, you hold the power to determine if you get laid or not. That’s of course under the assumption that you operate like a male in that quality is not important at all. You know deep down, all you have to do is walk into a bar and there will be some guy, any guy willing to take you home, of course don’t expect a relationship or a phone call or anything, but if you wanted to, you can definitely get laid and then hated by me.
You are going out at night to a bar that is less than a mile away from your apartment, but you have to drive there. It’s not raining, it’s not cold, but this LA you wouldn’t be caught dead walking unless it was walking to your car. You get in your car to drive to the corner gas station to get smokes. You drive everywhere and anywhere and of course you complain that you drive there, you complain about the traffic, gas prices. I complain about one thing, and one thing only and this hating you.
You are have no brake lights (or maybe you even do) you slow down almost to a complete stop and then finally make a right hand turn, never putting your signal on. Yes, you are the only one on the road and no one else needs to know your next move. Signals? Why do they even put them on cars, they’re a pointless appendage, just like your penis, you’re too busy screwing around with your pimped out stereo on your low riding ’91 Honda Civic with tinted windows to notice me right behind you, hating.
www.ihateyouif.blogspot.com
West Beverly Hate
You are in rush hour traffic and leave about 500 yards between you and the next car. You’re just asking for it, that empty space will fill up with all the people that think they’ll get to work that extra 5 seconds earlier. Speaking of, the people that change lanes constantly in stop and go, what are you doing? Where are you going? You’re making matter worse, should be run off the road and hated by me.
You think good acting has to involve some sort drug addict acting all cracked out. In addition to the crack, throw in something to do with a gun, a good crying scene and there you have every movie ever made that’s considered “good”. Someone really needs to come up with a new genre of movies, because they all suck. Try making me laugh, that’s a real talent and that is the only good acting that doesn’t make me hate you.
You are a girl that has an unhealthy obsession with sports. You know there are other ways to get close to guys instead of trying to be one. Yeah it’s cool when a girl can talk some sports, but when you start talking fantasy trades, that’s a little creepy, I mean most dudes do spend an inordinate amount of time with fictitious teams and leagues and what not, but we’ve all got our vices, I spend hours writing about how much I hate people when I should be doing work, but at least I’m not a woman that knows too much about sports, because then I’d have to hate myself, kind of like the way that I hate you.
You are on the show pimp my ride and say “this is going to change my life”. Yeah having a clown car will certainly change your life. I give that ride a day b4 an actual pimp steals all 7 TV monitors in there, and the sound system and the playstation. Who spends this much time in their car? Wouldn’t you rather watch TV in your house? And how would having some ridiculous car like that really change your life? Unless maybe you turned around and sold it to me at which point I’ll hate you.
You are a girl and complain that you can’t get sex. I don’t care what you look like, I don’t care how annoying you are, there is ALWAYS some guy willing to take you home. Let’s face it, you hold the power to determine if you get laid or not. That’s of course under the assumption that you operate like a male in that quality is not important at all. You know deep down, all you have to do is walk into a bar and there will be some guy, any guy willing to take you home, of course don’t expect a relationship or a phone call or anything, but if you wanted to, you can definitely get laid and then hated by me.
You are going out at night to a bar that is less than a mile away from your apartment, but you have to drive there. It’s not raining, it’s not cold, but this LA you wouldn’t be caught dead walking unless it was walking to your car. You get in your car to drive to the corner gas station to get smokes. You drive everywhere and anywhere and of course you complain that you drive there, you complain about the traffic, gas prices. I complain about one thing, and one thing only and this hating you.
You are have no brake lights (or maybe you even do) you slow down almost to a complete stop and then finally make a right hand turn, never putting your signal on. Yes, you are the only one on the road and no one else needs to know your next move. Signals? Why do they even put them on cars, they’re a pointless appendage, just like your penis, you’re too busy screwing around with your pimped out stereo on your low riding ’91 Honda Civic with tinted windows to notice me right behind you, hating.
posted by MartiniForYourThoughts at 2:14 PM
3 Comments:
yes the girls who obsess over sports and the ones who think they can't get laid are pathetic members of society!
funny post.
Doofi's on the Left Coast, Doofi's on the Right Coast. First he's on his hate blog, then he's on the soup blog. Yay Doofie for spreading the hate! Great idea, you guys.
Why exactly did Doofi's blog become an invite only blog? And how can I got about getting an invite?
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